my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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