he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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