can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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