I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
