if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
