So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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