She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
