SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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