Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
