I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i now understand why vodka
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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