im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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