Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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