lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
one might say we're banned from that church
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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