If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
