My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize