your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Umm I'm too high to move.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
