Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize