My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we're so committed to being not committed
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