Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
