no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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