Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They took my balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
