I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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