i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
