so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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