he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
