is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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