Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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