There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize