Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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