i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
