So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
