she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
