Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
