I wish i was in the wii world.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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