how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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