You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
