Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
