too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
