this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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