plz talk dirty to me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
