i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
