okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
