i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize