I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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