You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize