Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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