I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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