Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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