You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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