a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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