You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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