I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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