Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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