they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea