between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.