Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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