Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize