You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
