I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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