just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
