ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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