I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
