ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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