I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
