So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
