remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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